Yeah, its been a good while since I did anything with this blog. What can I say? The ideas just weren't coming. However, I think I might have something, so let's try a little experiment and see how this plays out.
First, a quick bit of background. I put out a tweet about how the Mouldy Tangerine running America had said something really Nazi-esque (I think it might've been about the "1776 Commission") and James, my graphics guy, responded. Here's what that looked like.
All creatures want to be a part of something. Pack, Herd, Pride, Nation, whatever you want to call it, all living creatures need to be a part of a group. You’ve been part of different groups your entire life. Were you a Jock in high school? Nerd? Punk? Theater Human? You have always been a part of something, frankly to the point that many of you humans probably have no idea how to function without a group. The thing is, being part of a nation is the easiest way to fulfill that need there is. It’s like that first shot the bartender offers you, on the house of course.
After you had your first drink, you decide you like the taste. You want more. Maybe you stick a flag on your car, telling everyone everywhere “Hey look at me, see how patriotic I am!” People start to praise you, they’re all “Hey, look at that human! Look how much he loves his country!” Now you’re feelin’ really good. Naturally you like the taste of the drink and you want more! So you throw barbecues where you get to drape your entire house in your country’s colors, have people over, things go well, you get popular! Life is great! You love your country and want everyone to know how much you love it and how much it’s given you! Forget the fact that most of those humans were at your barbecue because they like hanging out and you make good hot dogs. No, it’s because of ‘MURICA!!
At this point, you’re feeling on top of the world, like nothing can rain on your parade! You’re buzzed and you don’t want this feeling to end! Maybe you start getting involved with local government, lead some community rallies ... and that’s all good for awhile, but eventually it ain’t enough. You need more and more booze just to feel the same buzz as before. Suddenly, there’s *more* stickers on your car, flags all over the house, hell, now you’ve start firing off fireworks every Fourth of July because you love your country, and so help you OTHER HUMANS WILL KNOW ABOUT IT!! You’re officially so drunk with patriotism your blood alcohol content is the same number as PI.
One day, the government decides its going to start making changes to the way the country works, and you’re not happy about it. “Everything’s fine,” you think to yourself, “my country works for me perfectly just the way it is! I can’t let them change it!” Everything would be just fine if it wasn’t for those damned immigrants! You just wish they’d go home! You love your country and you don’t want to see it over run by murderers, rapists, the worst of another country’s problems. And sure, some of them are, no doubt, very nice people (sound familiar?), but you can’t take the chance! What’s that you say? This logic doesn’t make sense? Of course it doesn’t! But what do you care? You’ve been drunk on ‘MURICA since paragraph two. You stopped thinking a LONG time ago!
Eventually you get the idea in your head that because you love your country so much, you have to protect it. So you buy a gun. Then you buy body armour, gotta accessorize right? And when you buy your new toys, you meet other humans. Seem like smart people to, after all, they think just like you do! Again, that need to be part of a group kicks in. Your old friends stop coming around, they even beg you to stop hanging out with these new people. How dare they, right?! They don’t see what’s happening to your beloved country, not like you and your proud new group of boys (again, see what I did there?) does! You start making plans to help make your country great again (once again, sound familiar?!), by any means necessary! Before common sense kicks in your carrying an automatic rifle when you buy your next coffee and trying to either storm the government or kidnap your governor every third weekend.
By this point, you’re so smashed with patriotic love that you wear suits made out of the US Flag everywhere you go and you can’t even see the irony in expressing love for your country by breaking its laws! The only thing that matters to you is to make absolutely sure that nothing about the country you love ever changes. Your country worked just fine before women got equal pay, before LGBTQIA2+ humans had the same rights as heterosexual humans, and everything was great without having to even look at transgender humans as humans, and you are going to do everything in your power to make damn sure the country that been so good to you, the country you love, stays just the way it is. By any means necessary.
“But Adi,” you’re saying to yourself, “that’s not what patriotism is at all! It’s about being united in a common cause! Building a community where everyone in it, no matter who they are or where they came from, can live together in peace! It can’t be something as dark as you’re describing, it just can’t!” Well, let me stop you right there cupcake. You’re talking about what patriotism is supposed to be, not what it’s becoming. See, just like most human alcoholics can’t see it when they’ve become alcoholics, most humans can’t see it when they’ve moved from patriotism to blind patriotism. Whether it’s that next shot of whiskey or that leather suit jacket made out of the American Flag that no human not named Kid Rock should ever wear (and really he shouldn’t either), eventually, if you ain’t careful, all you’re gonna care about is that feeling you get and it don’t matter what you gotta do to maintain it. That sound scary? Good, because seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you people?! I mean, “we need to wear masks until we can cure COVID for the sake of our more vulnerable community members!” “But the economy! Mah freedoms!! ‘MURICA!!” DO YOU HEAR YOURSELVES?!?
Is there a solution? Of course there is, and the nice thing is, it fits perfectly with my alcohol analogy. Say it with me now, “moderation.” Nobody’s saying you ain’t allowed to be patriotic. Ain’t nobody saying you’re not allowed to love your country (ok, some humans are, but they’re blind patriotism going in the other direction). Say it loud and say it proud, “I love living in Canada!! However ...” Amazing how important one little word can be, ain’t it? Check this out:
“I love my country, but what’s happening right now with M’ikmaq fishery is god damn insane!”
“I’m proud to be Canadian, but my country was basically built on racism and we need to fix that.”
“This is a wonderful place to live, however I want to see it be that for everyone.”
For God’s sake, loving where you live doesn’t mean sticking your head in the sand every time somebody points out the tiniest of flaws! My human always says “You’re allowed to love something and still acknowledge that it’s not good.” Granted he was referring to his horrific taste in human film, but the point is still valid. Criticizing your country isn’t unpatriotic. If anyone tells you it is .. get away from them immediately. They’re probably a week away from completely misinterpreting the constitution and trying to kidnap the Governor of Michigan.
So that’s the thing with humans and patriotism. It’s fun, it’s exciting, it makes you feel proud and all sorts of good ... but much like a really nice whiskey, too much can have you in all sorts of dark places. Love your country, work to fix it’s faults, and try to keep your patriotic benders to one day a year ok? Oh, and I’ll leave you with some words you might really want to keep in mind. Especially if you’re American:
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