Retro Fat: A Word From My Human (March 10, 2014)

Allow Me to Retort*: Trek-volution

(*Title credit to David Beau Paul of loungegeeks.com, oneofus.net, & formerly of spill.com's "The League of Extremely Ordinary Gentlemen")

While nowadays my Sci-Fi of choice is Doctor Who, I'm very much a life long Trekker. To this day I can still remember watching Encounter at Farpoint with my family when it originally aired in 1987.  Hell, I followed that with Star Trek IV as one of the first films I remember seeing in theater (the other being Tramsformers).  Even my first Cosplay at my first Con was a home made Trek uniform.  As much as I've loved other Sci-Fi franchises that came and went, such as Firefly, and grew up on things like Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, I was always a big Trekkie. 

The Trick to #GvNLive (May 26, 2016)

So you go to a Geeks Versus Nerds show, and you hear about this Twitter contest called #GvNLive. You want that prize, but you got no idea what you gotta do to get it. Well stick with me, and you'll dominate in no time! What makes me so qualified? Three #GvNLive wins and five honorable mentions. More than any human has pulled off in the history of ever. I'm so good at this I retired to let the competition get better. That's who I am, the best of the best. Here's how I do it:

Galactic Gimmick Infringement (July 10, 2016)

So March Break 2016 wraps up and I'm at the Chapters Store by the Mic Mac Mall helping out with Hal-Con's "Invasion,” and raising money for Kids Help Phone and stuff. Awesome, always happy to do it. But then while I was there, somebody has to go and show me, the book. It's a book called "The Adventures of Beekle: The Unimaginary Friend," written by some guy named Dan Santat and published in 2014. The thing seems cute and innocent enough, but here's the thing. Take a look at the cover and see if you recognize anything:

So You Want to Be a Social Media Star (October 3, 2016)

Ever look at your favorite Youtube Star, read your favorite blogger's latest post and think "I could totally do that?"  You figure social media is the easiest thing to break into so why not get your piece of the pie?  Here's the thing, it's really not that simple.  I mean, look at my human.  Poor guy had made several previous attempts at launching video channels, blogs, his own website and so forth that went nowhere before I came along and the magic happened.  And I mean, even then, as amazing as I am, I know good 'n God damn well I ain't Felicia Day.  I ain't Chris Hardwick .  I still got my own little niche in cyberspace though, and I figured, why not do a little "how to?"  A little something on what humans should keep in mind, what services are best for what, and so on and so forth.  So let's get started...

Lucky 13 (March 14, 2017)

Well kids, here we go again. Back on January 30th, Peter Capaldi announced that series 10 of Doctor Who would be his last and that he would be leaving at the end of the 2017 Christmas Special. Ok, now it might actually be the end of series 10. Seriously, this shit is confusing. Frankly, as much as I hate all of series 8 with a fiery passion and as much as he's stayed on for the average shelf life of Doctor Who lead, I'm kinda sad to see the old guy go. I mean, they FINALLY figured out how to write for the guy last series, and now he's leaving. Well, on the plus side, Moffatt's going with him! So with Capaldi's departure, the speculation commenced! And as is tradition, most of the rumored choices to replace Capaldi are utterly crazy pants. Actually, they're not just crazy, they're also not terribly original! I mean, go into the Adiposean Archive, track down the two parter I wrote the last time the Children of Gallifrey were in this position, and see how many names are on both these lists. So with that in mind:

Sony Pictures Can't Help Screwing Up (August 3, 2017)

The Emoji movie recently opened in theaters, and so far everything about it seems to be further evidence that Sony pictures is literally incapable of doing anything right. I saw a story on Polygon about how Sony's marketing people decided to do a tweet parodying an intensely successful tv property. In and of itself, not a bad idea. I've done things along that line myself in the past, nothing wrong with it. Well, unless you make the worst possible choice for your parody. Here's the tweet Sony decided to put out, see if you can figure out what the problem was:

The Orvillean Discovery

From aditheadipose.weebly.com: October 11, 2017:

Humans, I’ve learned a number of things while on your planet. Jaegermeister is amazing, many of you were stupid enough to let a reality tv gameshow host lead you, and above all, there’s no such thing as a happy Star Trek Fan. I mean seriously, think about it. Star Trek Enterprise, the attempt at using a prequel to fill in a number of plot holes in Star Trek lore, at showing us the foundation for the adventures of Kirk, Spock and McCoy, and did Trek fans support it? They complained about how something that was set before a show made in the 60’s looked ok modern by comparison, and how it didn’t inspire the way Star Trek used to. I mean granted they were right; a prequel made 40 or so years after the original show is just never going to work, but so few fans tuned in that by the later seasons of Enterprise, when it got good, no one was watching because they’d already decided not to support their franchise.