Humans, I’ve learned a number of things while on your planet. Jaegermeister is amazing, many of you were stupid enough to let a reality tv gameshow host lead you, and above all, there’s no such thing as a happy Star Trek Fan. I mean seriously, think about it. Star Trek Enterprise, the attempt at using a prequel to fill in a number of plot holes in Star Trek lore, at showing us the foundation for the adventures of Kirk, Spock and McCoy, and did Trek fans support it? They complained about how something that was set before a show made in the 60’s looked ok modern by comparison, and how it didn’t inspire the way Star Trek used to. I mean granted they were right; a prequel made 40 or so years after the original show is just never going to work, but so few fans tuned in that by the later seasons of Enterprise, when it got good, no one was watching because they’d already decided not to support their franchise.
Cue the 2009 Star Trek reboot film. Despite box office success, just about all I heard was “What is this Hollywood garbage!?” or “This isn’t my Star Trek!” and the Classic “How can they change it!? How dare they not make the Star Trek I want!?” Well first and foremost Princess, they don’t make the franchise just for you! The fact is, when it comes to the Star Trek franchise it was change and grow ... or die. I’d go on about everything that was going wrong with the Star Trek people keep saying is “real Star Trek,” but my human already did. Pop over here to read what he said, then come on back.
Back? Ok good. So, like I said, you pretty much can’t please a Star Trek Fan unless your lead is either a Brit who regularly quotes Shakespeare or he insists on talking like every. Word. Is. It’s. Own. Sentence! Then, there’s Seth McFarlane. Seth McFarlane, the Star Trek Fan that Fox was willing to give money. Admittedly that money was so he could make a cartoon about a Machiavellian baby, a dog who thinks happy hour occurs 24 times a day and their family (eventually Fox even let them stay on air) but they gave him money. Then he got famous. Then he let his geek flag fly. Then came The Orville.
Now I got no problem with The Orville, I really don’t. Ok granted the first three episodes shouldn’t be watched by anyone ever, and I’m sorry but if an alien asks for a quote from one of your people’s greatest writers, and the best you can come up with is Destiny’s Child!? Yeah, sorry, I weep for your space program. But frankly, The Orville ain’t that bad. It’s good old fashioned episodic science fiction, and if that’s your jam, cool. Kick back, relax and enjoy it. The Orville has its place in science fiction, but ya know what? So does Star Trek: Discovery.
This whole thing about how The Orville is the only real Star Trek out there has got to stop! Because guess what kids, no it isn’t. The world of Star Trek is a vast place, and guess what buttercup? It ain’t all sunshine and rainbows! That idyllic world that Gene Roddenberry preached about over and over? Humanity didn’t wake up one morning and magically decided to love thy neighbor. Not how it works in this or any other world, though yeah it’d be damn nice if it did. You wanna step through the gates into paradise? You want that idyllic world, you gotta put in the work and earn it! For some folks, that’s gonna mean doing things they don’t like. Things that still gotta be done. It’s gonna mean that they get to see Paradise, but they don’t get a seat at the table. Sure, they’re good with that, but are you honestly gonna believe that their stories don’t get to be told? Star Trek’s about humanity’s quest for knowledge and reaching its peak of ideals. Star Trek: Discovery is the road map that got it there. If you got a problem with that, never ever recite “Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations” again. Ya missed the fuckin’ point.
Then again, maybe season long story lines ain’t really your thing. Maybe you like it a bit more episodic. A bit more old school. Ain’t nothing wrong with that either. If The Orville fills a need for you, cool. Enjoy. That said though, 8th season of Next Gen? Really? I’m thinking we might be laying on the praise a little bit thick. The Star Trek humans keep saying they miss and want back is the Star Trek that inspired, that made them want to be better; to reach for the stars and so forth. It was the show that lead to everything from cell phones to tablets and all inventions in between. Do you really see The Orville making that happen? And if so, is the idea of someone drawing inspiration from a gag about Seth MacFarlane’s colon really such a good thing?
Now, there are also those humans who prefer The Orville over Star Trek: Discovery because it’s not about the flagship of the fleet. Because it’s not about the Union’s best and brightest. That’s fine to, I mean again, if that’s what works for you, cool! Enjoy! Not every show can be about a crew who’s the perfect, shining example of humanity, is better versed in Shakespeare than any human really should be, and can always peacefully talk their way out of any given scenario. Wait, you thought I meant The Orville didnt you?
See, that’s the thing. Every time I hear somebody going on and on about how “Oh the Orville is better because...” it’s nine times out of ten something where, if they’d stopped to think more than half a second they’d realize that their own logic could just as easily make the case for Star Trek: Discovery. Seriously, think about it for a second. How many characters not named Picard, Data, or Chang have ever quoted Shakespeare. Six tv shows now (seven if you’re counting the animated series), about fourteen films, how many characters were known for quoting Shakespeare? I’ll wait. Head on over to Memory Alpha and look it up if you need to. What’s that you say? Is the answer zero? The whole “every character knows and quote Shakespeare way too much” complaint is entirely invalid? NO SHIT SHERLOCK! “Oh, well I like The Orville because it’s not focusing on the Union’s flagship and we get to see the stories from the rest of the fleet,” and that’s valid, don’t get me wrong. If that’s what attracts you to The Orville, Mazel Tof! I’m happy as hell you found something you like! Does that reasoning mean The Orville is the better show? Again, no. Again, I can say the exact same thing about Star Trek: Discovery.
Now obviously neither show is perfect (as much as I love the track, Wyclef Jean’s “We Just Trying to Stay Alive,” being played on Discovery felt just as weird and out of place as every single pop culture reference in the first three episodes of The Orville), and something about one show will appeal to one fan and something about the other show will appeal to another fan. THERE AIN’T NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT!
Back? Ok good. So, like I said, you pretty much can’t please a Star Trek Fan unless your lead is either a Brit who regularly quotes Shakespeare or he insists on talking like every. Word. Is. It’s. Own. Sentence! Then, there’s Seth McFarlane. Seth McFarlane, the Star Trek Fan that Fox was willing to give money. Admittedly that money was so he could make a cartoon about a Machiavellian baby, a dog who thinks happy hour occurs 24 times a day and their family (eventually Fox even let them stay on air) but they gave him money. Then he got famous. Then he let his geek flag fly. Then came The Orville.
Now I got no problem with The Orville, I really don’t. Ok granted the first three episodes shouldn’t be watched by anyone ever, and I’m sorry but if an alien asks for a quote from one of your people’s greatest writers, and the best you can come up with is Destiny’s Child!? Yeah, sorry, I weep for your space program. But frankly, The Orville ain’t that bad. It’s good old fashioned episodic science fiction, and if that’s your jam, cool. Kick back, relax and enjoy it. The Orville has its place in science fiction, but ya know what? So does Star Trek: Discovery.
This whole thing about how The Orville is the only real Star Trek out there has got to stop! Because guess what kids, no it isn’t. The world of Star Trek is a vast place, and guess what buttercup? It ain’t all sunshine and rainbows! That idyllic world that Gene Roddenberry preached about over and over? Humanity didn’t wake up one morning and magically decided to love thy neighbor. Not how it works in this or any other world, though yeah it’d be damn nice if it did. You wanna step through the gates into paradise? You want that idyllic world, you gotta put in the work and earn it! For some folks, that’s gonna mean doing things they don’t like. Things that still gotta be done. It’s gonna mean that they get to see Paradise, but they don’t get a seat at the table. Sure, they’re good with that, but are you honestly gonna believe that their stories don’t get to be told? Star Trek’s about humanity’s quest for knowledge and reaching its peak of ideals. Star Trek: Discovery is the road map that got it there. If you got a problem with that, never ever recite “Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations” again. Ya missed the fuckin’ point.
Then again, maybe season long story lines ain’t really your thing. Maybe you like it a bit more episodic. A bit more old school. Ain’t nothing wrong with that either. If The Orville fills a need for you, cool. Enjoy. That said though, 8th season of Next Gen? Really? I’m thinking we might be laying on the praise a little bit thick. The Star Trek humans keep saying they miss and want back is the Star Trek that inspired, that made them want to be better; to reach for the stars and so forth. It was the show that lead to everything from cell phones to tablets and all inventions in between. Do you really see The Orville making that happen? And if so, is the idea of someone drawing inspiration from a gag about Seth MacFarlane’s colon really such a good thing?
Now, there are also those humans who prefer The Orville over Star Trek: Discovery because it’s not about the flagship of the fleet. Because it’s not about the Union’s best and brightest. That’s fine to, I mean again, if that’s what works for you, cool! Enjoy! Not every show can be about a crew who’s the perfect, shining example of humanity, is better versed in Shakespeare than any human really should be, and can always peacefully talk their way out of any given scenario. Wait, you thought I meant The Orville didnt you?
See, that’s the thing. Every time I hear somebody going on and on about how “Oh the Orville is better because...” it’s nine times out of ten something where, if they’d stopped to think more than half a second they’d realize that their own logic could just as easily make the case for Star Trek: Discovery. Seriously, think about it for a second. How many characters not named Picard, Data, or Chang have ever quoted Shakespeare. Six tv shows now (seven if you’re counting the animated series), about fourteen films, how many characters were known for quoting Shakespeare? I’ll wait. Head on over to Memory Alpha and look it up if you need to. What’s that you say? Is the answer zero? The whole “every character knows and quote Shakespeare way too much” complaint is entirely invalid? NO SHIT SHERLOCK! “Oh, well I like The Orville because it’s not focusing on the Union’s flagship and we get to see the stories from the rest of the fleet,” and that’s valid, don’t get me wrong. If that’s what attracts you to The Orville, Mazel Tof! I’m happy as hell you found something you like! Does that reasoning mean The Orville is the better show? Again, no. Again, I can say the exact same thing about Star Trek: Discovery.
Now obviously neither show is perfect (as much as I love the track, Wyclef Jean’s “We Just Trying to Stay Alive,” being played on Discovery felt just as weird and out of place as every single pop culture reference in the first three episodes of The Orville), and something about one show will appeal to one fan and something about the other show will appeal to another fan. THERE AIN’T NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT!
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