The Trick to #GvNLive (May 26, 2016)

So you go to a Geeks Versus Nerds show, and you hear about this Twitter contest called #GvNLive. You want that prize, but you got no idea what you gotta do to get it. Well stick with me, and you'll dominate in no time! What makes me so qualified? Three #GvNLive wins and five honorable mentions. More than any human has pulled off in the history of ever. I'm so good at this I retired to let the competition get better. That's who I am, the best of the best. Here's how I do it:

THE EARLY BIRD GETS THE WIN

The show may start at 8:00 (ish) but that don't mean you can show up five minutes before the Content Warning Song. You're gonna wanna eat, you're gonna wanna say hi to people, and if you're doing that during the show, you're missing out on the potential winning material. You can be sociable, just do it before the show. My human and I get to Bubba Ray's Too at about 6:30, maybe 7:00. By the time the two minute debates start, he's eaten, I'm drunk and we've said hi to everybody we know. 8:00 is go time, and I don't wanna miss the good stuff.

FRONT ROW CENTER

Another reason to get to the show early? Seating. If you're like me and you tweet from a tablet, you want room to work. You also want to make sure you can see and hear everything. The closer to Pig Monkey you're sitting, the more material you can pick up and you want to pick up on all of it. The tiniest little thing during a show can be the joke that wins you the prize. After all, nobody wins from the back row.

TWO MINUTES TO HEAVEN

Most humans only really start tweeting when the main debate starts. Huge mistake. When the main GvN debate starts, I'm already rolling. This goes back to gettin there early and getting a good seat. General rule of live tweeting anything is simply this: get into a rhythm. Once I'm in the zone, the ideas start coming fast and furious. I can see exactly what I'm going to do with the stuff said on stage the second it's said. Start your tweeting as soon as the host for the two minute debates takes the stage. By the time you hear the content warning song, you're already getting noticed.

STAY ON TOPIC ... STAY ON TOPIC ...

Back when the contest first started, you could win with just about anything. I've seen shows where a guy won with a tweet about the prize. Had nothing to do with the show. Hell, I've won with a tweet that was nothing more than a picture of me in cosplay. But then, I am just that damn good. The thing is though, you can't count on that. Ya don't need to anyway. The show itself will give you gold. Use it.

FEAR DOES NOT EXIST IN THIS DOJO

Hold your self to a "higher comedic standard?" Think you're above low brow humor? If you're gonna compete in #GvNLive, leave all that hoity toity class shit outside Bubba Ray's. That's not how this works. Worried you'll offend? Hell, I've won by making fun of a cast member being bald! I've seen things as simple as "How does a Storm Trooper poop?" win, and that's not even a full joke! Now as long as I got a say in the matter, that ain't never gonna happen again, but anything's possible.

Never ever be afraid to carpet bomb Twitter with #GvNLive material. You literally have no idea what will hit so fire everything.

KNOW THE JUDGES

Now this ain't super critical, but it don't hurt to know who's judging the competition. If Jen Ryan's judging, stroking the judge's ego don't hurt. Now that I've retired from competing (it's the equivalent of a pro-wrestling retirement though, let's not kid ourselves), you best bring your A-game if I'm judging. I'm gonna be looking for quality. I wanna see a set up and a great punchline. Make damn sure it's a full joke to. There ain't gonna be no more "How does a Storm Trooper Poop?" Bullshit. Nobody wins on half a joke on my watch!

BE THE TRENDSETTER

Not sure if your material is going off with the crowd?  That's actually REALLY easy to track.  Watch your notifications button on Twitter.  How many likes are you getting?  How many retweets?  From whom?  Likes are great because it means you're making the humans reading the hashtag laugh.  Retweets are what you want most though.  Every retweet means you've not only amused someone in the audience but they like your stuff enough to share it.  That in turn can get you more likes and more retweets and thats what you want.  Also, who's noticing your tweets?  Cast members?  The official Geeks Versus Nerds account?  The more notice from them, the better your odds.  Make as much noise as you can.